Hello Again TTC World

Dropping by to my TTC world. I just need to write what happened this cycle.

When we first tried IUI last May of 2013 and failed on our first try, DH and I agreed to stop thinking of TTC and live normally. But of course, while setting aside TTC on our minds, we also agreed that we have to have a healthy lifestyle which means eating vegetables, fruits, no junk foods and exercise. We just need to breathe and rest for a while.

So, from June 2013 to December 2013, on my part, I was really keen on my 30 mins. workout 5-6 days a week. And that despite stopping all my medicines from folic acid, metformin, my vitamins and all fertility drugs, AF will come visiting me every month plus my EWCM is also present, that is why I know I am ovulating unlike before. Below are my cycles after our failed IUI which I never forget to monitor:

• 31 days - 11 May 2013 to 10 June 2013
• 34 days - 11 June 2013 to 14 July 2013
• 33 days - 15 July 2013 to 16 August 2013
• 34 days - 17 August 2013 to 19 September 2013
• 36 days - 20 September 2013 to 25 October 2013
• 32 days - 26 October 2013 to 26 November 2013
• 33 days - 27 November 2013 to 29 December 2013
• 30 days - 30 December 2013 to 28 January 2014

My AF for the past months will always come to visit me until my LMP on 29 January 2014. All of a sudden, AF did not show up until my CD36. And so we thought I am pregnant.

I ask Father God for a sign which is if CD40 will come and no AF yet then and only can we claim pregnancy. On my CD41, that is only yesterday (10 March 2014), I tested on my 3rd pee in the morning. Why? Because I walked up at 12:20 AM to pee, also at 6:15 AM (to which I forgot to test) and past 7:00 AM, where I tested. At glance, DH and I cannot see the 2nd line so I accepted that maybe it is negative. DH did not, he took the PT and went to the window and called me afterwards showing to me the 2nd line. I took the PT and I hold it up in a bright light, there I saw the test line also.

DH and I were so amazed because it is only there where we saw a 2nd line ... "only" if put on a bright light. :( So, the question which came into my mind is...does pregnancy test have a line on it before we use it? And so I have asked Mr. Google, and it says a line is a line. Oh well, I still wanted to see a more visible 2nd line thus I have to re-test.

Also, in the morning of 10 March 2014, at around 9:00 AM, I have a little brown discharge on my pantyliner which gave me the impression that maybe it is really a negative test after all. But for the whole morning, AF did not come and the brown discharge just dried up.

On my way home, I did my usual routine (my only exercise from January to present) which is to walk from the gate of our village to our house. Then all of a sudden, I felt so much pain on my abdomen so I decided to take a ride instead. Thinking I was pregnant before doing the re-test, I felt so much guilt in my heart. That I am having a miscarriage because I can now see blood on my pantyliner and the pain is there if I move. So I just stayed on our bed for the whole night and the pain is gone.

This morning, I took my re-test even if I saw blood on my pad. I just need to know if I am having a miscarriage or not. The same thing happened on my first test, and so, I asked DH to open the other pack of pregnancy test and see if the test line has a line on it before we even use it. And there, it shows a line. Thank God, AF is just really late and I am not pregnant nor am I having a miscarriage. I am so relieved.

Lesson learned for today. I need to do my exercise, not only walking, but I have to bring back zumba and running on my system plus my GT friend's suggestion, my metformin. And, I will also take my duphaston starting this cycle so that I will know that AF will not go missing again, and of course, if and when we hit the bulls eye, our baby will be safely home in mama's womb.

Positive vibes, that is all what we got on our TTC journey. A lot of faith to our Father God even if sometimes we cannot understand things.